My time is precious.
Those that know me know that I’m sick.
This year I learned that my time is precious. I don’t know how much of it I have. I always knew I was looking at less time with my chronic pain disease. But when the C word dropped a few months ago, life became that much more serious. So please understand me when I say that my time is precious. I plan it, and I use it, wisely.
Because of the nature of my illness I’m not able to be as spontaneous as I once was. I can’t on a whim decide I have some free time so let’s go hit a movie, or make last minute plans because other ones fell through. I need to plan everything out meticulously. I must always make sure I have medicine with me, and water, and I have to listen to my body in case I need to rest and or lay down. Do my hands hurt? Will they hurt later? Will I need a nap today?
So when I do make a plan, now that it has been carefully thought out and executed. If I’ve asked you to do something with me, particularly in the afternoon or evening, know that I’m arranging my whole day around this time frame for YOU. I’m probably giving up my afternoon nap (don’t laugh, they’re necessary for me to function), and I’ve probably asked you a week in advance, just so that I can make sure I’ll be feeling ok that day. And what that means is I probably wouldn’t have done anything the day before to make sure I’m not exhausted, or that I’m well rested and have enough energy to enjoy a whole day. This is my life now. Planning. Organising. Making sure every part of my day is filled with opportunities to rest, to make sure I’m not opening myself up to more sickness.
So my time is precious. If I called you a week ago and asked if you wanted to meet for lunch or dinner, or to see a movie, or spend some time at the beach, I’ve thought this plan out, and you are the main event for that day.
My time is precious. Please do not waste it.
Flaking out on anyone it’s not cool. Flaking out on me is no exception. Don’t waste my time. If you know there’s a chance you might not make it, don’t wait to the last minute. That’s bullshit. And be honest. Don’t make up some stupid excuse on why you can’t come, because you’ll most likely get caught in that lie eventually. I really appreciate honesty. And none of this “something came up” crap.
I’m so sick of people wasting my time. Be honest with me. Be honest with yourself.
1) If we have plans to do something and you haven’t heard from me for some reason, don’t assume that’s me breaking our plans. The likely scenario is I’ve fallen asleep on accident, so just call me. I’m the sick one with the weird side effects, not you (unless you are sick like me, but then I suspect you wouldn’t waste your time either). And if I need to change our plans I WILL call you and let you know as soon as I know. Not calling or dodging my calls/texts and then saying you figured our plans were canceled is BS.
2) Calling or texting the day before and saying you may be too hungover/tired/busy to hang out the next day is the STUPIDEST thing I have ever heard. It’s the day before. You’ve known we’ve had this plan for a week now. If drinking, or staying up late, or your other plans are a bigger priority for you, then by all means keep those plans. I don’t want to hang with people who don’t want to hang with me. I’m not going to chase you down to spend time with me. I have plenty of friends that do enjoy my company. End of story.
3) Social media is great. It’s a fantastic way to keep in touch with a multitude of people from all over the world. Sharing memories, sharing stories, sharing pictures and video. Here’s where your lie might catch up to you. Bailing on me, saying something came up, or flaking out and not calling me at all and then posting pictures and or video of what you did get up to on your social media so that I can see it…is unbelievably rude. Have some fucking manners. I get it, you found something else that you wanted to do more and our pesky plans stood in your way. Here’s a thought, be honest. Tell me that your sorry but you really want to do this other thing instead. Yeah, my feelings will probably be hurt. But it will be much less than me dealing with your bs flake out and then seeing the evidence of your lie online.
My time is precious. Everyone’s time is precious. No one wants their time wasted. Be a man. Be a woman. Grow up. Be honest. And if you can’t do that, we shouldn’t be friends.