Amongst the myriad of painful issues I have alongside my Rheumatoid Disease, I’ve been dealing with a new beast, Osteoporosis. Annoyingly brought on by overuse of prescription steroids and chemotherapy, Osteoporosis is an evil bone depleting demon. According to my latest x-rays my bones look like lattice on the inside, more closely related to Swiss cheese than the solidity they should be.
A few weeks ago I slipped on the stairs, thinking that I’d sprained my ankle. As time went by and the swelling didn’t go down, Mom and I decided that an X-Ray might be a good idea. Last Friday our suspicions were confirmed with a stress fracture in my right ankle. Since a heavy cast would prove more painful than helpful, I was told to wrap it up, put ice on it periodically, and don’t do any jumping jacks. It was a bummer, especially since I already have stress fractures in my left foot.
This past weekend was exceptional. I was more active than I’ve been in a long time. Went to a movie night at a friend’s house, a 7 Deadly Sins themed costume party, and a relaxing afternoon chatting with a new friend. Unfortunately, on Sunday morning I woke up with a strange sharp pain on my right side. More than a pinched nerve, this pain felt like I’d broken a rib in my sleep.
As the day went on the pain increased, getting worse and worse, especially when I would bend to pick something up, or stand and sit. By Monday morning the pain was excruciating, so bad that I cancelled two medical procedures set for this week including another endoscopy and a mammogram to check my Lymphoma. I called my PCP and asked if I could come in for a chest X-Ray. Of course I was hoping for the best, a pinched nerve or maybe just a bruised bone.
By the end of the day the results were in and my suspicions were so much worse than anticipated. Not one fracture, but several. Several! And how? It’s not like I’d been hit by a bus, or trampled by the running of the bulls! But that’s the evil beast of Osteoporosis. Once your bones turn into Swiss, fractures start up. My doctors warned me I’d have to be very careful from now on, and to start osteoporosis medications as soon as possible.
But that’s another yuck factor. I spent all of last night reading up on Forteo, the drug my Rheumatologist recommended I start for Osteoporosis. It’s a daily injection with some of the most awful side effects I’ve ever heard. There is no chance in hell that I’m going to inject myself daily with a drug that not only makes my arthritis pain worse, but also increases my exhaustion and fatigue, causes severe nausea and vomiting, and turns me into a mindless drone. That’s right, one of the main side effects is loss of interest/pleasure, discouragement, and increased depression and suicidal thoughts. Are you f**king kidding me?! No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Did I mention no? And that’s just the worst ones, the side effect list is a lengthy one. It also seems that I’d be so dizzy and disoriented that I may have to stay in bed mostly.
That’s not a life. That’s not even half a life. I’d rather be in pain and rival Mr. Glass than give up who I am. I want to live through this, not just survive. Emphasis on the word “live”.
So if osteoporosis wants a fight, I guess I’m forced to go into battle. I just wish I didn’t have to be in excruciating pain during it.
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