Someone to wake up to

Going into Queens each month for my IV meds is quite an ordeal for me. My doctors told me I would get used to it eventually, not for me that’s not so easy. I don’t like the needle in my arm. I don’t like that I can feel the drip, or the medicine seeping into my veins. I don’t like that dreadful machine and receiving my “medicine”, knowing that while it’s helping it’s also hurting. I don’t like waking up in a dark room feeling scared and alone.

Luckily I’ve never had to. Mom has been to almost every infusion with me, and when she hasn’t been able to make it I’ve always had a friend step in and take her place. The people who love and support me know that it’s important not to just drop me off and pick me up when I’m done. I need them there. I need to see a friendly face when the job is done and I open my eyes. I don’t want to do this alone. I shouldn’t have to. 

It’s cold in that room. And dark. The nurses always turn off the light the second you pass out. And you always pass out. The medicine is a real doozy. 

When I wake up I am confused and disoriented. Sometimes I cry, because I’m 33 and I don’t know why this is happening to me. It’s important to wake up to someone being there with me.  Someone who cares. 


If you would like to help support me, please visit my donation page. Every little bit helps and get me closer to renting a studio close to the hospital, so I can get to my doctors appointments and chemotherapy more independently.

Christine Lilley’s Life Fund

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