Today I was faced with a great realization of how many things in my life have changed that I may not have been aware of before. Little things that you would take for granted, that you wouldn’t even think of when you live a normal day to day life.
Sure I’ve been aware for some time that showering has become a real circus act. The different ways I’ve coaxed the shampoo and body wash out of their bottles should be immortalized on film. Washing my hair with my loofah, shaving my legs by holding my razor between my wrists, shivering through an air-dry, courtesy of my bedroom fan. The list goes on, and that’s just bathroom related!
My life has changed drastically in some areas. Although today I realized how much I miss being able to take a quick trip to the grocery store. Gosh, I miss those days where I could say “I’m popping out for milk”, and actually mean it. As in I leave and come back within a half hour hauling a carton of milk, and more often than not, a packet of Oreos. But the days of a ‘quick’ anything are gone. Now everything must be planned around my pain, fatigue, transportation etc.
Three years ago if I wanted to go to the grocery store I would have grabbed my purse and headed out the door. Back then I lived pretty close to where I am now, so it would have been a ten minute walk to the store. I’d have grabbed what I needed and either walked back home, or taken a taxi, depending on how much I had to carry. The whole ordeal would never have taken longer than 45 minutes to an hour.
And then there was today…
Around 12:30pm today I glanced at the clock and thought that maybe I should hit the grocery store, just as soon as I finished coloring the page I was working on.
At 1:12pm I opened my eyes to find I had dozed off at some point. Luckily this time I hadn’t accidentally drawn across the page since a pencil was still in my hand. I packed up my coloring things and went into my room to change out of my loose fitting lounge wear and into a pair of shorts. I sat on the bed and took my afternoon dose of medications, and then laid back on my pillow for a moment.
2:48pm was when I awoke the second time. Determined to not fall back asleep, I quickly got dressed, gathered my reusable grocery bags, brushed my teeth, and was out the door.
Gosh it was hot outside. The sun was really beaming down. My feet were slightly swollen but since the next bus down the street didn’t come for another 15 minutes I decided to walk it. After all, when was the last time I got my six thousand steps in? Not this week, that was for sure. I made it to my local shopping center in good time and the bus I could have taken rolled past as I entered the drugstore.
After waiting in a ten minute line to pick up my prescriptions, I perused the Red Box kiosk, got a free movie, and headed to the supermarket next door. God I love free Red Box!
Have you ever noticed that supermarkets don’t have anywhere to sit? With the exception of the Signature Cafe area at Safeway, chairs are scarce. I find that strange with so many senior citizens around. I’m sure they get tired and might like to rest a moment, I know I sure would. And by the time I’d reached the grocery store I had been on my feet for close to an hour and I was exhausted. A stool would have been so appreciated.
As I started to wander slowly down the aisles, my feet were indeed quite swollen now, I became so aware of my surroundings and the other shoppers, especially the elderly. While they used to bother me with their slowness in the past, I was now aware of their need to take their time. I needed it too. The more my sore and tired feet would ache, the slower I became, and the whole grocery shopping experience turned into this awful chore that I couldn’t wait to be done with. I used to love perusing the aisles, taking my time, looking at everything. Now I was all business. Except I couldn’t move quicker because everything hurt, and the freezing air they were pumping through the vents wasn’t making it any easier.
By the time I made it through the checkout and hobbled over to the bus stop to go home I was shocked at the time. It was 5:26pm! I’d left my house at 3! How could that much time have possibly passed? Had my movements really become that slow??
After waiting a few minutes I hopped on a bus and rode down 4 stops before ringing the bell and getting off at my street. Putting away my groceries was almost too much work. I was so tired. I could barely keep my eyes open. For once, it wasn’t pain that made me long for bed, but sheer and utter exhaustion. 6pm. Really? It takes three hours to pick up groceries? Ugh. Talk about feeling like an invalid.
What a great topic for a blog, I thought. So as soon as my groceries were put away I headed into my room, sat down on the bed and pulled out my tablet. I was able to turn it on and queue my website before fatigue gripped me and I passed out again.
7:15pm Is when I woke again and finished the account of my day. Man, this narcolepsy business is no joke.
8pm now and I’m hungry. I better make dinner and eat it before my next eyelid closure has me waking up on a different day…