For the last two years I’ve lived on a clock.
A clock that has been ticking away the moments to where I meet my end. My illness eating away parts of me that are unseen.
Because of this I’ve adjusted to a “come what may” attitude towards life. I’ve been living free and fearless, feeling that this was the only way for me to live my life to the fullest.
But I have recently come to realize that this may not work for my anymore. I can no longer live in the shadow of my disease.
I have people I care about and friends whom are important to me. The ‘come what may’ philosophy only worked for me when I had nothing to live for and therefore had no fear of what happened to me.
This is no longer an accurate representation of my life.
Maybe it’s that 2018 is in quick approach and it makes us all think about what is important in our lives.
Love. Family. Friendship. Truth. Fun. Happiness.
No I don’t suddenly fear death or the end of my being, despite that always lurking.
No, I don’t fear the clock of life.
I fear the loss of the important things.
People go through their entire lives not being truthful to themselves and others. Life is short, no matter what time clock we are all on. Cherish the time that is given. Share your feelings. Tell your friends they are important to you. Tell your loves what they mean to you.
Instead of being fearless, respect the time you’re given and use it wisely. It’s not to late to be truthful to who you are.